Quote of the Day:
"There was a faith healer from Deal
Who said "Although Pain Isn't Real
If I sit on a pin
And it punctures my skin
I dislike what I fancy I feel."
Good times, good times.
To The Third of the Day:
Coming Soon Once CEQ moves off of Blogger.
Excellent Band Name of the Day:
Caley's Fan Mail/Advice Column of the Day:
Sorry I haven't written in yet, but now seems like a good time since you have nothing. I was just wondering why do pennies exist?"
Well, Janice, it's like this:
Pennies were originally created way back in 452 B.C., when an ancient Greek philosopher names Centistikes was trying to raise money for a charity. However, he couldn't really get people to give him the money he needed. So what he did was to invent a denomination of currency so pitifully small that the people would collect em' in jars and give them to his brothe--- I mean charity, charity.
Anyway, the penny became somewhat popular after that, but it was in 1500 AD when the Freemasons started to sponsor it that it really took off. After that, no one has seriously challenged the penny, except for Abraham Lincoln. He just said one day, "Why do we even have this? It's more ridiculous than Mary Todd in a bikini!" Then the freemasons offered to put his picture on the front if he'd shut up about it, an offer which he accepted. Previously, Teddy Roosevelt had been on the penny (The Freemasons had time machines).
In conclusion, Libya is a nation of contrasts. Thank you.
E-mail Caley at AndersonC@wlu.edu! Send him your questions, and he'll prattle on at great length about total nonsense! Which is what he does in everyday life! It's like a real-life Caley simulator! I can't stop talking without quotation marks! Dear god, I'm in agony! Every day is like an excited, overenthusiastic agony! Everything I say has to be great! Otherwise it sounds funny! I mean, watch this! I ate a sandwich today! Wow, exciting!
Lost Deep Thought of the Day:
"I don't think God put me on this planet to judge others. I think he put me on this planet to gather specimens and take them back to my home planet."
Evil Overlord Resolution of the Day:
"I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex."
Caley Synopsis of the day of the Day:
In the future there will be machines that do all my work for me. But until then, I must plod on. Here's a short list of the tasks I must do in the next 24 hours:
1- Get my next mafia target. This will be #20. I plan to stake her out. Hopefully I won't look creepy hanging out on the girls' floor at 6:00am in the morning. But I will. I ALWAYS look creepy.
2- Finish a politics paper. Wheeee.
3- Complete some reading that I need to do for a religion paper. Wheeee.
4- Go out in front of the Dining Hall during all of today's meals and campaign, as voting will be today. I'm feeling good about this one, none of my opponents even have a PLATFORM to run on, while I'm actually talking about serious issues. Excellent.
5- Finish cleaning my room. I have an honor scholar staying in my room starting Tuesday evening, so I want my room to be habitable for people other than me.
6- Make fun of Paige. If I don't do it, who will?
So you see, my day is extremely busy and you should all go easy on me. In fact, I think you should send me some money right now. Yeeesssss, and then you should work for me for free building the autotargeter for my orbital superlaser. And then you should bring me Yanni's head on a platter.
Added to the List(tm):
Point of Reflection of the Day:
If there is no objective truth, is everyone free to determine their own purpose in life as they see fit?
This episode of COEQ brought to you by:
Monkeys riding bikes while wearing lobster hats- "Well, I'll be damned."
Microsoft- "Now, for girls, the Pink Screen of Death."